I Stopped Chasing or Choosing Joy and This Is What I Found…

Disclaimer: No shade intended to those who've managed to chase/choose joy into their own versions of a happy ending - this is just MY story and experience. In 2018, I started this blog as an audacious attempt to choose Joy even during the most (at that time) trying time of my life. My #JoyChallenge was…

D1 Lent 2022: The Choice

"I have set before you life and death,the blessing and the curse.Choose life, then" Deut 30: 15 - 20 There's a scene in the cult classic, The Matrix - where the protagonist Neo is offered a choice. "You take the blue pill... the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you…

Songs about Jane

On 19 February 2022, Jane Marczewski (or Nightbirde, as she liked to call herself), went home to heaven. I knew Jane, as much and as deeply as you can 'know' a pop star or a musician from across the screen. But I knew her by her words. Wise, words. Gut-wrenchingly honest words. Words that gave…

Don’t be afraid of letting Him into your mess

Dear Disheartened, I know it's hard. Bright lights and tinsel everywhere, the sound of laughter and Christmas carols wafting in air and in your heart, the hollow echoes of darkness, uncertainty, depression, grief. Maybe you're mourning the loss of something big - a job, a relationship, a loved one, shattered dreams or a hope for…

#2020MadeMeDoIt: Nineveh Ahoy

Disclaimer: This is going to be long and petulant because, well.. I'm still hurting. We're in early March 2021, and this was a long time coming, and it's another hard one to write ... mainly because my story is still being written, but 2020 was a gut punch that I'm still unpacking, emotionally and well,…

The Secret

I've been blessed. Unlike most people during the pandemic and subsequent lockdown, I've had the opportunity to grow spiritually through mass and even (gasp) confession. Yes, I've had a period of deprivation, but it hasn't been for very long. And during one such private mass, held at the end of August, the priest spoke eloquently…

Love Hurts

As the story goes, St. Teresa of Avila once fell off her donkey while traveling. She landed in mud and dirtied her habit. In flash of anger and wit - she said to God,  “If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you don’t have many.”  #truestory #relatable When people ask me about…

Need to know

If they were doling out awards for: Most Productive During Quarantine, or Holy Roller of the Year or Most Faith Person of Pandemic 2020, undoubtedly, my name would not be one of the reckoning. However... If there were awards for: Fell into Past Sins, Binged out of Her Mind and Comfort Eating Marathons, Longest Wallow…

Memento Mori and then some

These last few weeks have been weird for me. Weirder than usual. After mom's and aunt's passing, I have been questioning my own mortality and the meaning and purpose of life... While I haven't exactly planned my funeral, (My Epitaph needs to read 'She Tried. '), death has been present as a silent but very…

Musing: Holding on

I'm holding on to pieces of you in the people you loved... If they don't love me back, How do I find my way back to you? It's time to close the chapter It's time to start anew But by letting go of them I don't want to let go of you.